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Don't Give Up

Do you ever feel like giving up? I sure did. I still do sometimes. But there was one day ten years ago, when the bottom fell out of my life, and I thought I couldn’t keep going…but I did. In my new video, I give you the inside scoop on what happened that day and how I kept myself from giving up, so you can use the same tactic to help you when you feel like you have nothing left to give.  I posted it on my SA Bayne YouTube channel so you can check it out.

Click here to watch my video on not giving up.

For those of you who prefer to read instead of watch, I wrote it out as well below (I am a writer, after all, right?!). Let me know if you find it helpful! So many people have helped me through tough times over the years, and I really want to pay it forward by helping anyone I can. 

How to save yourself when you feel like giving up.

Raise your hand if there are days when you feel like everything is total shit and you’ll never find your way out of it. 

Both of mine are up.

Ten years ago, my life fell apart. The kind where your whole body starts shaking and you can’t breathe. Where you’re like, “Holy f*ck. What am I going to do now?”

I still remember that moment. 

On that day, I stood in my bathroom, my hands shaking, staring at myself in the mirror, on the verge of completely falling apart. 

I remember staring at my stricken face, my hands shaking. I looked at myself, and I said, out loud, “I have two choices right now. I can choose to lie down on the floor and give up. Or I can choose to fight.” 

I paused, continuing to stare at myself, while my next words formed in my brain, on their own, and then I said them aloud. “I choose to fight.” 

Those are great power words, right? “I choose to fight.” 

To say them is one thing. 

To mean them is another.

To live them? It can be hard as hell.

How do you keep fighting when things feel like they’re crushing you? How do you make yourself try one more time when you keep failing? How find the strength to smile when you feel like you’re freefalling into hell?

One word. 

Hope.

Hope is the driving factor that keeps us going in everything we do. Hope that if we try, we can make a difference, to ourselves, to others, to whatever we are trying to accomplish.  If you’re certain that trying won’t make a difference, then trying fades into numb inaction that starts to crush our spirit, our soul, and even our ability to live.

Hope is the start, the whisper of light into the darkness. It’s the spark that can ignite, easing us one step out of the darkness into…

Belief. 

Belief, or faith, is a step up from hope. It’s hope, with a little bit of confidence. From belief, comes…

Knowing.

Knowing is the pinnacle. Knowing is what happens when the threads of doubt disappear from hope, leaving you with only conviction.

Start with hope. That’s all you need. The tiniest, littlest bit of hope. 

Try this: 

Think about something that’s weighing you down. A problem that has been beating at you, that you can’t shake. Is it money issues? It is a tough boss? It is a health problem? Think about it. Feel how it weighs on your soul. Feel how that weight bleeds into your heart, your smile, your voice. Feel how it’s so heavy that it makes your body sluggish and slow. 

Think about that problem. Give it an identity. Call it, “I’m scared as hell that I’m going to get fired.” Call it, “I don’t have enough money to fix my heater.” Name it. Got it?

Now, walk through this with me. Identify your problem, and then add hopelessness to it. Feel the weight of believing that there is no way out of the darkness, no matter what you do or how hard you try. 

Example: I’m scared I’m to get fired, and I’ll run out of money and I won’t get hired again, and there’s nothing I can to do stop it. 

How does that feel? Shitty, right? That’s what the absence of hope feels like. 

Now try this:

State your problem, and then add some hope, even the tiniest little sliver. 

Example:

I’m scared I’m going to get fired, but maybe just maybe, I might find a way to make the situation a little bit better. 

How does that feel? A little better, right?

Now add faith or belief. 

Example: I’m scared I’m going to get fired, but I have faith that I can find a way to make the situation better.

How does that feel? A little better, right?

Now add knowing. 

Example: I’m scared I’m going to get fired, but I know I can find a way to make the situation better.

Say it again.

Say it one more time, and put emphasis on the word KNOW.

And say it one more time.

How does that feel? Better, right? Like, a lot better. Nothing has changed externally, but you have changed the voice inside your head, simply by giving yourself hope. You don’t have a solution yet, but you’ve ignited that spark inside you that’s going to start looking for a solution. If you KNOW you can find a way, then your brain is going to start looking for one. And along the way, you feel a little bit better, even if it’s only the tiniest little sliver of relief. Tiny sparks start the hugest fires. Find that spark. Ignite it. Help it grow. 

That’s all it takes. Hope. Hope, that becomes faith, that becomes knowing. 

Hold onto hope. Don’t let it elude you. It’s all we have, and it’s everything. It’s what kept me going that day when I said, “I choose to fight.” It’s what got me up off the floor in the months following that day, when I felt like it was never going to get better. It’s what got me to today, to a different life, to one filled with love, with sunshine, and with big, glorious, glowing sunbursts of hope. 

Next time you are feeling crushed, try the exercise above. Find a sliver of hope, the tiniest little sliver in the darkness weighing you down. Say it out loud. Then add faith, saying it out loud.  Then add knowing, saying it out loud. Bring yourself up slowly, step by step, out of the abyss, one tiny spark at a time. 

Give yourself hope. It’s all we need to get started.

Love,
SAB

P.S. Can you do me a huge favor? Comment below, and let me know if this was helpful for you! I really want to make a difference for those who are struggling like I was.  

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